Seriously? – NICU Disappointment

We got up early this morning to bring our baby Addah home, finally! My sister stayed out of school to watch Lakin and we were up at the NICU by 7 this morning. We hung out all morning up there, only taking one 30 minute break to grab some food. At 11 this morning, a different neonatologist came around, assessed Addah, consulted with a resident and then came in to talk to us. He says “she looks great, if she looks this great tomorrow morning she can go home”. Sound familiar? Yep, it’s that same old NICU disappointment again.

The nurse even told us that she thought it was silly… at this point Addah had almost 84 hours of perfect temps with only that one quick drop, WHY can’t she come home?

I want what’s best for her, obviously, but what’s best for her is to be home with me, nursing when she wants to and not on the hospital’s schedule, cuddled up with me in our big warm bed. I cried for a while and then we left. I am so disappointed.

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I'm Heather, a married mama of two teen girls, a stillborn baby girl (7/1/12), and a sweet and wild preschool girl (4/2/14). I've been blogging at The Destiny Manifest since 2001. I like to write about appreciating all of the beautiful little things that surround us, particularly in the face of grief, infant loss and mental health issues. Every day is an adventure!

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