No idea

I wrote this in the summer of 1999. Why on earth did I marry this man? Can love really be that fucking blind?

He left me…
Gave me three days alone
In the house that we share.
Three days to ponder
a love that is no longer perfect
but marred by an image
that only exists far away.
His need for that which I cannot give
is much too strong for me to cope.
Understanding cannot be reached
by my bruised and battered heart.
And I am at an empasse,
caught painfully between
wanting to forgive
and fear of being used.
Why can’t he feel what I feel?
The desperate need inside
to be his one and only
in both his heart and mind.
I want him to stop talking
to all these other ones
and put me on a pedestal
and love me ’til I’m gone.

Heather O ~ 8-26-99 

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I'm Heather, a married mama of two teen girls, a stillborn baby girl (7/1/12), and a sweet and wild preschool girl (4/2/14). I've been blogging at The Destiny Manifest since 2001. I like to write about appreciating all of the beautiful little things that surround us, particularly in the face of grief, infant loss and mental health issues. Every day is an adventure!

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