Seven years ago today, I married a wonderful man. We were young and idealistic, in love and absolutely certain that we would be together forever, that we would beat the odds and grow old together.
We were mistaken in some ways. In other ways, I think we were more right than we knew.
The divorce papers have been signed and sent to the Clerk of Court. It has been one year and one week since he moved out. We are no longer so young, no longer idealistic and no longer in love.
We are still friends. We do still care for each other. We talk on the phone and help each other out with things that come up. We have two beautiful little girls together and we are both very good parents. I have the girls during the week and he has them on the weekends. If he needs me to keep them one weekend, I do. If I need him to keep them one night so I can work, he does. Compromise and understanding, that we have.
We rarely argue anymore. We spend time together when we want and go our separate ways when that time is over. We attend our girls’ school functions together. People are amazed to find out that we are almost-divorced. I tell them that we are friends, that we have a better relationship now than we did for the last few years of our marriage.
Things will change… are changing. He enjoys a flirtation with a stranger at the park and he calls me to tell me. I laugh and tell him about the date I had last week and what a lovely mess that was. It’s not conventional or what’s “expected” from divorcing people, but for us, it works.
I imagine that one day he may remarry. I don’t imagine that I will ever remarry, but I do hope to fall in love again someday. The family that Drew and I created will continue to change and adapt over time, as it has over the last ten years that we have known each other, and the last seven years of our marriage, and the last year of our separation.
We will grow old together though. Not together in the way we once meant, but together as good friends who once loved each other more than anything and who understand each other in a way that not many others in our lives do.
Happy Anniversary to you Drew. Thank you for all that you’ve given me over the years. Thank you for being my friend, my sounding board and my ex-husband. I would not be who I am without you.