Neuroses

I don’t post much here anymore. It’s not lack of desire that keeps me from posting, nor is it lack of time, though I could easily blame it on both. The truth is that I don’t really know what to say.

I’m better, and then I’m not. When I’m better, I like to be outside of my house, going and creating and doing, and I adjust my schedule accordingly. The busier the better… because the busy keeps me better.

When I am not, I am… not. When I am not, I long to bare all, for reasons that I can’t quite put my finger on. I think it helps me to type it all out, to let people know that “I’m not okay, okay?” and yet, I can’t bring myself to do it here.

I want to. I spend much time reminding myself that I’m not supposed to care what other people think, what other peoples’ opinions on my current mental state might be. Truth be told, I just need to get over it. I need to take a cue from these brave folks and just… post. Better… or not.

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I'm Heather, a married mama of two teen girls, a stillborn baby girl (7/1/12), and a sweet and wild preschool girl (4/2/14). I've been blogging at The Destiny Manifest since 2001. I like to write about appreciating all of the beautiful little things that surround us, particularly in the face of grief, infant loss and mental health issues. Every day is an adventure!

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