Being Single

Being single, a single parent, has been the toughest job i have ever had.

Being single in a married world is lonely and isolating. For instance, camping, where i am with couples and their kids. I watch them have small, intimate moments at the campfire. Little nods and smiles, caresses and giggles exchanged. Even the little arguments. I miss those. The small hills and valleys that define a relationship, make it strong. Make it love.

Being single means sleeping in a tent with your children is the closest you get to intimacy. Being single means stuffing that fricking tent in it’s case with only your 80 pound daughter to help you. Being single means packing odd numbers of plates and cups. Being single means driving alone up front. Being single means hours and hours of driving with nobody to complain to about all the “are we there yets?!”

Being a single parent means weekends alone in your house. Being a single parent means more freedom than you want. Being a single parent means desperate longing for your children to return to you. Being a single parent means struggle. Struggle to pay bills. Struggle to drive to activities. Being a single parent means guilt. Guilt that your kids are unhappy. Guilt that you can’t do everything. Guilt that every last nerve is worn thin.

Being a single parent also means pride. Pride that you really can do it.

*****

From Jess at http://www.drowninginkids.com because I couldn’t have said it better myself.

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I'm Heather, a married mama of two teen girls, a stillborn baby girl (7/1/12), and a sweet and wild preschool girl (4/2/14). I've been blogging at The Destiny Manifest since 2001. I like to write about appreciating all of the beautiful little things that surround us, particularly in the face of grief, infant loss and mental health issues. Every day is an adventure!

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