Remembering Daydreams

This was a class assignment — to record daydreams and analyze them.

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My daydreams tend to be mostly visual, though I do have some daydreams that involve conversation and during these, I visualize what I and the other person or people are saying. I do imagine sometimes that I can “hear” what the other person is saying, though generally, I focus on details such as what the person is wearing, what their face looks like, the information that they are sharing with me.

My daydreams are very personal. In dreaming about a bank robbery, I am the perpetrator or the victim, but never a spectator. I have daydreams about people that I know and rarely about those that I do not have at least a tenuous personal connection with. I am much more likely to daydream about a vacation with a friend or family member than I am to daydream that I am visiting the harem of an Arabian sheik, for instance. I most often daydream about things that are actively affecting my personal life – envisioning possible outcomes to an interview or meeting at work or conversation with a friend. I have plenty of daydreams that are designed specifically to escape a current situation but I would say that the majority are about things that are more immediate and helpful to my daily life.

My daydreams are both sharply focused and as through a thick fog, depending on the subject matter. If I daydream about my future, say “where will I be in five years?” than a thick fog is usually present. I am not absolutely solidified in my career end goals, and as I am involved in a long distance relationship, am not absolutely solidified in my romantic end goals either. I daydream quite clearly about passionate love affairs and occasionally catch myself in a terrifyingly focused daydream wherein my significant other is lost and I cannot reach him. As he is currently deployed with the army in Iraq, I feel quite certain that my daydreams reflect both my longing for affection and my worry and fear for his safety and well-being.

I think that my daydreams probably reflect that while I am a strong woman, divorced and raising two children alone, perfectly capable of taking care of my little family and providing us with the things that we need without help, I have a desire to be at least a little more dependent on someone else and to have someone else shoulder part of my burdens. I think that I spend time daydreaming about escaping to far away places as a way of dealing with the sometimes unbearable stresses of daily life, but that I take familiar people along with me to these far away places because I fear that I am not as strong and independent as I think I am.

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I'm Heather, a married mama of two teen girls, a stillborn baby girl (7/1/12), and a sweet and wild preschool girl (4/2/14). I've been blogging at The Destiny Manifest since 2001. I like to write about appreciating all of the beautiful little things that surround us, particularly in the face of grief, infant loss and mental health issues. Every day is an adventure!

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