Birthday Crash

Every week I participate in “Stream of Consciousness Sunday”, hosted by Fadra of AllThingsFadra.com. The idea is to type for 5 minutes, a brain dump of sorts, and then to publish without editing the writing at all.

Birthday Crash #SOCsunday
I was intent on yesterday being perfect. My older daughter turned 10 and I planned it out, how it would be this perfect party day, with all the right presents, the right cake, the right everything. And naturally, it did not all go as planned.

The cake was beautiful. I am very proud of the cake, which is incredibly sweet, and since it is 6 layers tall, a little goes a long way. Everyone had their fill, plus I’ve handed slices out to David’s mom and the upstairs neighbor, and we still have half of the cake left.

The presents were well received. Lakin is one of those kids who takes her time and appreciates each present rather than tearing through them at top speed. She got a lot of new Pokemon cards, several books that she wanted, a doodle pad and new markers. All seemed good…

And then suddenly, between the pancake breakfast and the rainbow cake and the homemade cotton candy, the sugar buzz gave way to a birthday crash and my girl just…. lost it. She was so upset, refusing to speak, just balled up and angry. I had to make her leave when it was time to go home and even after a healthier lunch and a forced rest time, she was still not a very happy girl.

We were just so determined to give her the “perfect” birthday that we didn’t stop and think that maybe it was too much. Too much sugar, too much activity, too many people, plus her dad didn’t call…. it was just too much for my girl to handle. Been there, felt like that.

She did come in this evening and tell us how much she loves her presents, and to hug us and tell us she loves us. I told her the truth, that I never doubted it for a second.

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I'm Heather, a married mama of two teen girls, a stillborn baby girl (7/1/12), and a sweet and wild preschool girl (4/2/14). I've been blogging at The Destiny Manifest since 2001. I like to write about appreciating all of the beautiful little things that surround us, particularly in the face of grief, infant loss and mental health issues. Every day is an adventure!

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  • Good Girl Gone Green

    Party sounded lovely. You are probably right, sometimes perfect is too much for the little ones to handle! And totally sucks her daddy didn’t call, I know how that feels! Happy birthday to Lakin~
    Happy SOC!

  • Happy Birthday Lakin!
    Heck, birthdays and parties and sugar are sometimes too much for ME to handle!
    And boo on her dad for not calling. Unfortunately, too many of us know what that is like.

    Did you take pics of the rainbow cake?!

  • Happy Birthday again to the birthday girl!

    I used to go through the whole dad not calling bit with Mini-Me and I think I was 9 the last time I got a wish from my own bio-father. It sucks.

    Mini-Me always had problems processing sugar, so we always had to be careful about how much she got. Sugar melt-downs are certainly no fun!

  • Hi, stopping in from SOCS. 

    Awww, sounds like she had a little too much birthday fun.  

    We just had to have a talk around here last night about dad’s not calling.  It sucks.  Sorry she is going through that.  But it sounds like you are doing a good job to make up for it.

  • wow. I know the feeling… (both sides of it!) Glad to hear the hugs were well received on all sides. Happy b-day, Mama and Daughter! My son turned 10 this year too. (Visiting from SOC Sunday)

  • Happy Birthday again to the birthday girl!

    I used to go through the whole dad not calling bit with Mini-Me and I think I was 9 the last time I got a wish from my own bio-father. It sucks.

    Mini-Me always had problems processing sugar, so we always had to be careful about how much she got. Sugar melt-downs are certainly no fun!

  • Happy Birthday Lakin!
    Heck, birthdays and parties and sugar are sometimes too much for ME to handle!
    And boo on her dad for not calling. Unfortunately, too many of us know what that is like.

    Did you take pics of the rainbow cake?!

  • mommyhoodnextright

    Oh, been there, done that. I am a recovering perfectionist, who often relapses around party times. It’s tough, but you know, you live and you learn. Happy Birthday to the birthday girl! I’m sure she’ll remember the party for years to come!

  • Stopping in from SOCS.
     It is so easy to get lost in the moment – trying to give those we love the best that we can imagine for them. It’s difficult to remember, when we love them so much, that – occasionally – less is more.I never learned that, when it came to my kids.

  • Thank you!

    I did take pics of the birthday cake… working on an entire post dedicated to its’ tastiness! 🙂

  • It’s an awful thing to have to deal with. The girls saw their dad today and he still didn’t do presents or
    birthday anything… said “maybe next weekend, we’ll have to see”. Good
    grief. It makes it so hard for Lakin to stay on an even keel when he is
    so unpredictable.

    The sugar was totally my fault. I usually keep better track and I just got all swept up in the “it’s her BIRTHDAY” craziness!

  • Thank you! Happy SOC to you too! I wish no one had to feel that pain of abandonment. It’s just so unfair.

  • I’m sorry that you’re having to go through this with your child too… it’s a rough thing for parents to navigate with our little ones. Happy SOC to you! 🙂

  • Another mama of a 10-year-old! Thank you so much for the birthday wishes, Julie! 🙂

  • “A recovering perfectionist” – I like that! You are right though, we live and we learn. Thank you for the birthday wishes!

  • Thank you! I usually focus on how much less is more, but I got so wrapped up in “it’s her TENTH birthday” that I temporarily lost sight. I think she still had a great day, in spite of the sugar overload. 🙂