Every week I participate in “Stream of Consciousness Sunday”, hosted by Fadra of AllThingsFadra.com. The idea is to type for 5 minutes, a brain dump of sorts, and then to publish without editing the writing at all.
I don’t even know where to start, not that I feel like I should be “corrupting” this blog with my anxiety and despair at this point. In many ways, I am very lucky. In many other ways, I feel like I just can’t catch a break to save my life. David and I try, very hard, every day. We want good things for our family. Not material things, just simple things like a certainty of food and a roof over our heads. Enough money to pay for the necessities and make ends meet. If the ends actually cross over each other from time to time, all the better.
Right now, nothing is certain. We are in a precarious position in every regard and no amount of trying seems to be making a single bit of difference. We are within 24 hours of losing our phones and our internet. We are within 30 days of losing our home. I don’t know what the answer is. I wish I did.
I apologize for the depressing post. I try to stay upbeat and positive, in spite of my genetic inclination to think of glasses as half empty. I’m not sure anyone could find happiness and hope in the position we are in right now. It’s a daily struggle… and at the moment, I am losing the fight.