My husband David wrote this beautiful eulogy and read it at Clara’s memorial service. He asked me to share it for Clara’s birthday.
The saddest and proudest moments of my life are one and the same. I became a father for the first time on a rainy afternoon in July. All the hope and joy of this day became crushed by five words – “we can’t find her heartbeat” – and our lives were forever changed.
Clara Edith Webb was loved and adored from her first moments in this world. I still have the positive pregnancy test that Heather took in Texas. The sheer wash of emotions that a simple chemical test strip can cause is awe inspiring. We didn’t know yet if she would be a boy or a girl, or if she would even stay with us. But she did. She stayed and she was welcomed.
A day has yet to pass where the sight of a baby in a stroller or car seat fails to test my eyes’ floodgates, and that time may never come. Though she never held my finger in her tiny hand, we did know each other well.
If this sounds forced, it is only because words to express the death of a baby are nearly impossible to find. The loss is not mine alone. The family I love so dearly, the friends so true, the world itself, has lost a great soul, and is lesser for it.
If there is a God, I will hold her again some day. Until that day, I commit her to the care of those loved ones who have gone before her, and to those who will one day rest here beside her.
Sweetest of dreams, baby girl.
My little sister wrote a beautiful blog post for Clara’s birthday that I would love for you to read, if you have time.