Thinking about: It’s been a full week since I wrote for the blog or myself, and it’s been a long time since I’ve gone that long without writing. I apologize if it is tiresome to keep reading that “it’s been a hard week” — it is equally as tiresome to keep living hard weeks. In the past seven days of not-blogging, I have done my best to remain fairly productive, in spite of my deep down desire to just huddle under the fuzzy blanket on my bed and alternate sleeping and crying.
There are a lot of changes I’d like to make… for myself, within myself. I’m struggling with writing and blogging, and I’m not sure why. It’s taken me days to figure out what to write here, and that’s not something I typically have trouble with. Everything I started felt forced, or too emotional, or not emotional enough. So I did everything but write.
Worried about: I want to lose weight. I’m not at all happy with my weight or health. I feel defeated before I begin, because the mountain is such a ridiculously high one, but I can’t allow myself to use that as an excuse not to begin either. I want my family to exercise more. I want to be able to walk to the mailbox and back (1/4 mile) without feeling like I’m going to either have a heart attack or blow out my bad knee. A quarter mile is difficult for me. How ridiculous is that?! Of course my knees and ankles hurt! They were not intended to carry this much weight.
So… I’m trying to change. The four of us walked to the front of the apartment complex and back this evening – 0.8 miles. 14 minutes. I was beat when we got back, but I’m going to do it again in the morning and evening. They are baby steps, but they are steps.
Listening to: I absolutely love to listen to music… it feeds my senses and soothes the heartache. When David got home from work last night, he brought his iPod and speakers into the bedroom, wrapped his arms around me, and we kissed and sang and listened to music until the kids came in from playing outside. It was beautiful… the kind of connection that makes it all feel better.
Darius Rucker’s cover of “Wagon Wheel” has been in my head for days. It makes me smile every time I hear it.
Watching: My sister told us about “Orange is the New Black”, a new Netflix series that focuses on life (and the women) within a women’s prison. My preference would have been to binge watch all 13 episodes in 1-2 days, but that’s just not possible when David has to be at work so early. We’ve watched 1-2 episodes a day and finished the series tonight. It’s excellent… really excellent, and I am glad to know that a second season is coming. It’s been a while since I felt so invested in characters from a television show, but it’s not all that surprising; I loved producer Jenji Kohan’s “Weeds” just as much.
Reading: I’ve finished one book and started another. I read “Orange is the New Black”, thinking that since I was enjoying the show so much on Netflix, the book would be even better. Eh, not so much. This is one of those rare instances where I think the path the show is taking is much more interesting than that of the original memoir. Once I wrapped that one up, I started reading “The Dark Side of Innocence: Growing Up Bipolar”. I’m only a couple of chapters in, but so far it’s very good.
Knitting: I’ve finished a new pair of socks for my mom and I’m almost done with her second pair. I should have that one finished this evening. I’ll knit one more pair for her, and then a pair for Lizzi… and then David wants more. He’s slightly addicted to his hand-knit socks, which makes me feel very good.
Loving: David’s been grilling for us lately, in the moments between rain storms. Last night we had grilled hot dogs, and two nights before, he grilled chicken breasts marinated in Italian dressing. Delicious! Also, we saw a rainbow after the last storm, and it made me think of our sweet Clara, who would have been 13 months old tomorrow.
So how about you? How is your week going?
|I’m connecting with others via Wordless/Wordful Wednesday today! Check out my blog hop directory to see who else is participating, as well as the other blog hops that I join each week!|