|This week, I’m participating in “Stream of Consciousness Sunday”, hosted by Jana of Jana’s Thinking Place. The idea is to type for 5 minutes, a brain dump of sorts, and then to publish without editing the writing at all.|
It’s been a hell of a week.
We had the support and love of so many this week, these past few weeks, this year, but the absence of a particular friend weighs heavily on my heart. I know that friends sometimes come and go, and I have seen the disappearance of a couple of good friends in the last few years, but this one… she’s not supposed to come and go. She’s supposed to be here, my sister by choice, my best girl, and I miss her.
I wonder if it’s something I’ve done or said. I wonder if my grief is just too much for her to handle, or if she blames me for Clara’s death but doesn’t want to say it. I wonder if she’s just moved on, found other friends. I hate to admit to such a petty emotion, but I am overwrought with jealousy of those other friends.
She’s my friend, after all. We’re supposed to rock on the porch together when we’re old and grey… even after the men have gone, we’ll still have each other. We’ve joked about that for years.
How can she move on without letting me know? Or… did she? Maybe she’s just busy? Maybe I’m overreacting… over emotional? It wouldn’t be the first time. I’m not the most emotionally balanced person this week; I will admit it.
I miss my friend though. I miss you a lot, dear friend, if you’re reading this.